Ms. Anne Throap: Runaway expansion of Revelstoke, RMR the best in Canada, really…? And stealing sex in the ‘Stoke

Aw, come on! Revelstoke is just fine the way it is with about 7,500 residents and not 12,000-to-15,000 permanent residents, the way they said it was going to be when they built the new ski hill. That’s  just fine with me.

Ms. Anne Throap

The above is one of Revelstoke’s most repeated sentiments but it’s hollow, short sighted and deadly.

The best we can tell, we remain at, roughly 7,500 until summer vacation time and winter ski season. Those who, sort of, might have an idea what the seasonal expansion figures might be, namely our last and present mayors, have been known to say Revelstoke swells by as much as 3,000 a day in the two high seasons but nobody knows for sure. It’s a very difficult count to get. Not every visitor goes to the Information Centre and the accommodation industry doesn’t have the time or staff to count vacationers. Maybe it should. I heard we’re a tourist town now.

The point is, we’re about to have a referendum on expanding the east end of Revelstoke about 50 acres into the CSRD so a treehouse hotel and an indoor climbing centre can get city water.

Well, you can bet that idea is going to slap the faces of a few environmentalists and anti-growth types so the push is on to stop it, hence a reverse referendum that leads to a real referendum, in this case, $10,000. worth of polling.

This is just one instance of expansion in the changing world of the ‘Stoke.

We can stop individual projects like the highway mall but we can’t stop the inevitable growth of a going concern. Look around Canada and compare us to other towns. There are only two ways to go — up or down. And I do not like the second choice.

Look forward to more wait time to make a turn at Victoria Road and Fourth Street. Our ski hill just won an award as being the best ski resort in Canada. Ask any merchant in our coveted, heritage downtown if that’s a good thing. Take that prize to the bank because the word will pull in more tourists. I’ll take their disposable bucks.

The added traffic could mean we’re getting closer to a seconde. bridge over the Illelicitst… (oh hell, how do you spell it) Illecillewaet River.

Good on ya, RMR! Next year, the best in the world… Okay, not yet — we don’t have enough intermediate family slopes.

Dinah at the The Most Tasteful Sex Shop In The West, Spice O Life, has just set a few Revelstoke records:

  • Record No. 1 — The most number of sex signs stolen… 1;
  • Record No. 2 — First sex shop to have a sign stolen, in Revelstoke;
  • Record No. 3 — First sex shop to offer a reward for the return of its sex sign (You can see the offer in the ad on the front page of this fine journal);n and
  • Record No. 4 —First sex shop to sell sex then offer to buy it back.

So, be on the look out for a pimple-faced, ultra-testosterone-charged, mouth-breathing male youth with a stop sign shaped item stuffed in his pants, who isn’t getting any. Yes I know, that’s psychological profiling and so politically incorrect but you could bag a few bucks and become No. 5 on the Revelstoke Records list. Think of the bragging rights.

Tell ya what. Hold the sign ransom. Take donations to help Dinah get her sign back, then donate the proceeds to the Food Bank.

Now we ARE talking bragging rights.

You can even say, “I meant to do that.”

Yours in social sarcasm,
Ms. Anne Throap

Pet Peeve of the Month: Revelstoke residents who park in front of the yellow curbs as if to say, ‘Oh gosh, I didn’t know it was a no-parking zone. The snow covered the yellow paint. Imagine that.’ Commissionaires: Go get ’em!