The North Columbia Environmental Society’s annual Bike Giveaway was — as always — a hit with bikeless segment of our local society.
Would-be bike recipients — and there were dozens of them — had to write an essay of some sort to say why they deserved one of the bikes on offer.
Here’s one of those pieces of writing, created to read like a diary entry:
What do you do when you love something so much, but it refuses to love you back? Do you put it out there, hoping that maybe you will get some love in return?
I’m crushing hard on a breathtakingly beautiful girl named Revelstoke, but she is much too good for me (the new kid in town). With hair as smooth as the Columbia itself and with voluptuous curves that threaten to pierce the sky, Revelstoke has proven that she is indeed a beauty far beyond my reach. She’s the impossibly cool girl in town who wants to hang out with the rich kids. You know the ones who can afford to explore her mountains, valleys and hills.
What’s a bum like me to do? I’ve been crushing hard on Revelstoke since October 2010, but Revelstoke isn’t reciprocating. I was unemployed, broke and couldn’t afford to ski on her hills, or eat at her restaurants. I’ve been to University and back, lived in several other small communities within Canada yet, Revelstoke is the hardest tease I have ever had. She doesn’t offer up much in terms of financial opportunities, yet ironically, she houses the most breathtaking vistas and landscapes that without transportation are virtually untouchable for me (the mere pedestrian). What does a kid like me have to do to get some cheap bicycle wheels around here? The trendy bike stores cater to those who have money. Even the communal diary (thestoke.ca/list) is offering bikes that are completely out of my financial reach.
So, dear Revelstoke, here is my plea to you; my poor feet are sore from chasing you on foot in vain, Revelstoke. Please, give me a leg up. I’m geared up, ready to go, and I’m taking my unrequited love by the handlebars.
Offer me a pedal from the wild rose of your heart.
Pretty voluptuous writing, eh? This year’s winners were:
- Clare (last name unknown)
- Veronique Mailard
- Christy (last name unknown)
- Melissa Jameson
- Alex Cole
- Sarah Bradfield
- Kim Matson
- Donna Kapak
- Community Connections Housing Outreach Program
Happy cycling, folks!